A Fire Inside

A rage,

A swell of anger,

An all consuming fear.

A pain,

A well of tear drops,

An all devouring ache.

A disbelief,

A confusion infinity,

An all tormenting question.

A relief,

A slight lift,

An ever-changing landscape.

A defence,

"This is me",

An ever questioned theory.

A guilt,

A loss of control,

An anomaly metaphysically.

A nonchalance,

A survival technique,

An inherent capability.

A responsibility,

A burdened load,

An ability to explode.

Stop

Stop trying to teach me life lessons,.

Life is hard enough.

Stop punishing me for things I have not done,.

I've done enough.

Stop trying to manipulate me,

Or my brother - YOUR son.

Stop trying to control it,

It's all come undone.

Stop trying to fake sanity,

Yours is long gone.

Stop trying to be young,

Grow gracefully with age.

Stop trying to be right,

For all the world is a stage.

Stop trying to try

Wait, at least you managed that.

For Some Reason I Hate You

I do not think I've ever really hated you before,.

I've lost respect for you, yes,.

That's if I had any to begin with at all,.

But I do not think I've ever really hated you before.

I do not think I've ever really hated you before,.

Not as a drunk,

Or common whore,

But I do not think I've ever really hated you before.

I do not think I've ever really hated you before,.

I've misunderstood you, yes,.

Write it off to lack of life experience,.

But I do not think I've ever really hated you before.

I do not think I've ever really hated you before,.

Not as workaholic,

Self indulged psychotic,

But I do not think I've ever really hated you before.

I do not think I've ever really hated you before,.

I've judged you, yes,.

Partly ignorance,

But I do not think I've ever really hated you before.

I do not think I've ever really hated you before,.

But as the words spew out like venom once more,.

I realize the reason I hate myself is because I've never really hated you before.

The Universe Decides

I forgive you,

But that's just it,

Forgiveness does not give trust a face-lift.

I want you,

But that's not it,

Love, passion and true companionship.

I love you,

But that's not enough,

Security, standards and playing rough.

I enjoyed you,

But it did not last long,.

Summer fling turned lover here now gone.

Ive forgotten you,

But the memories will never fade,.

Only to be recalled in a warm and loving way.

I would've had you,

But the timing was not right,.

The universe had other plans for this lifetime.

So simply put with nothing more than a smile, Ill say Goodbye, see you in a while.

Free From It All

Free from it all

Sometimes I feel like I'm stalking you,.
Sometimes I feel like a fool, chasing you,.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm being lied to,.
Sometimes I wish I knew.

Sometimes I hope your thinking about me,.
And other times I know,
Sometimes I think about what you're doing,.
And those banging shows.

Sometimes I convince myself that you're playing me,.
Teasing me, making me look naive,.
Sometimes I believe you love me, but It does not last long,.
Here one day, the next day, gone.

Sometimes the currents are strong,
They drift my thoughts along,
Sometimes the break is weak,
Insecure from head to feet.

Sometimes I fall into the fairy tale,.
Prince Charming taking the lead,
He woos me and kisses me,.
Making logic seem unrelieved.

Sometimes I can feel you in my heart,.
And sometimes I do not feel you at all,.
Those are the times I fall deep into my soul,.
Knowing that sometimes I can be free from it all.

Infection

Why now?
Why this?
Stop testing me,
Painful memory.

In the past,
Is where you need to stay,.
Just leave me alone,
Go away.

7 Years of,
It's taken so long,
To let go, heal,
And move on.

You pop right back,
Into my life,
I'm tempted to let you in,.
Think twice.

Why can I not?
Just work you out,
Out of my mind,
My source of mistrust.

My body screams,
When you are near,
I can not control it,
Feelings I can not bear.

So leave me now,
Let me be,
I can not let you back in,.
Into me.

I've worked you out,
And Ill do it again,
I can not hear, even,.
The sound of your name.

So leave me now,
To lick these reopened wounds,
And banish you again,
Simple fool.

Anger

Oh no, she's done it again.
-baffled
-jaw dropped
Shamed

Close my eyes in pain
-hide
-die
Remain

Does she even know?
-glances
-stares
Rumoured

Do you think she cares?
-selfish
-absorbed
Affliction

50 year old woman
-sluttish
-flirting
Pathetic

If only she knew
-sorry
-aged
Rejected

Compete with me
-insecure
-menopausal
Insane

There is no competition
-age
-attitude
Behaviour

There is no way out
-wrinkles
-bumps
Saggy

Old woman I'm
-smart
-attractive
Young

Forget your in-ambitions
-bubbly
-sexy
Fun

I laugh at you
-competing
-stooping
Low