Say what you want about me,
Laugh when your friends call me "easy",
Demonise me,
It really doesn't matter to me.
Be the victim,
Blame me entirely,
I'll take it, I'll own it even,
Because those that know me, know me.
Call me crazy,
Deny my reality entirely,
Tell me I'm imagining things,
Better yet tell me I'm the reason you left me for dead.
Keep acting out,
Your cycle is so predictable,
Maybe you haven't realised it yet,
But I'm never coming back.
Your mother made it clear,
I was the sole source of your unhappiness,
I wasn't good enough to marry,
So go one then, go be happy.
You laughed at me when I needed you most,
You blamed me for your inability to care for me, you mocked me at every opportunity,
Your insideous remarks a hallmark of your family.
You called our unborn son a bastard and repeatedly called me big during pregnancy, you took advantage of my healing body when what I needed was safety, you created a space of fear and instability for the new mother that was me.
You sabotaged and played the game, proposing in such a shameful way,
It was the solution to your predicament knowing your family didn't want me but I wanted to be married, so you planned it perfectly.
Your mother's reaction to our engagement and her saying to you "it feels like I'm loosing you" and what did you do? You chose to make your mother's dreams come true and now look, she's got a new husband in you, congratulations you two, I'm happy for you.
You continue to spiral and cycle,
From "deeply caring about me" to calling me a "toxic horrible pathetic excuse of a person" it would really just be easier if you made your mind up about me, like move on now, you're rid of me.
It's absolutely fascinating to me just how blind you seem to be, you literally refuse to even consider the possibility that you have traumas and demons that are actually really unhealthy.
Thank you for everything you put me through, I got to see a side of myself I never knew, I got to face my demons and heal my traumas and grow immensely and for that I am truly thankful to you, my home, my life, my being wouldn't be as peaceful as it is today if it wasn't for you.
