Healing and Healthy

The break is clean,
The cut is sharp,
The wound is stitched,
Now it's just a bleeding heart.

This time it's easier,
Easier than the countless times before,
To stitch my life together,
To heal once more.

The healing is faster,
The wound not as deep,
The painkiller of presence,
That's all I really need.

No need for long term treatment,
A seven day course will do,
A few kisses from strangers,
That's all I need to get over you.

The cast is off,
The break has healed,
Strengthening the muscle,
Slightly fragile still.

It will not take long,
To strengthen again,
Training daily and taking care,
Healing and healthy,

I'm getting there.

I Feel You

I knew you'd left my island,

I felt it in my soul,

Like a band-aid being ripped off,

The rawest wound,

A cut so deep,

It woke me from my sleep.

Every step you took,

Further away from me,

Each mile of separation,

Brought me to my knees,

Finding myself crying,

Begging the Lord "please".

Run, Run,

Like a scared child,

Do not face your fears,

Little do you know,

The monsters in your closet,

Will follow you everywhere you go.

Go backwards,

It's your choice,

It's always a shorter journey,

Than moving forward,

Go back to your old habits,

It's all you'll ever know.

I feel so sorry for you,

Not being able to let go,

Not being able to,

Conquer the unknown,

Even when I held your hand,

You chose to let go.

I'm glad I got to know,

The many faces you wear,

Looking into you,

I found my own raw and bare,

I'll feel you forever,

But you'll never know.

You've got a thousand faces,

Tell me which is you,

Do you even know?

Because I can feel you,

I know the real you,

I have felt you in my soul.

Listen to Your Inner Being

Deep down in my soul,

I knew you could not change,

But my foolishness led me to believe,

You might just be the one for me.

I truly believe,

If you’d stuck it out with me,

You might have finally been free,

Free from,

Your demons,

Your ego,

And your insecurities.

My internal being,

In my precious little soul,

I knew you’d leave me once more,

This I actively chose to ignore.

I can’t even be angry at you,

In the end it’s my responsibility,

To listen to my inner voice,

That internal queen.

Such self ignorance,

Such foolishness,

Utter stupidity,

An active choice to believe,

That just maybe,

You’d want me enough,

To stay with me.

This feeling of rejection,

I’ve felt so many times before,

My low self-esteem the cause of it all,

Picking myself off the ground once more.

I’m going to rehabilitate,

Free myself of this addiction,

Thailand,

Miles and miles of distance,

Should cleans me of this affliction,

This,

Abused woman syndrome.

Never in my life have I met someone so cruel yet so kind,

Bipolar personalities that chop and change,

From depression and cruelty,

To the deepest beauty I have ever seen.

I will somehow heal,

Finally grow,

Into the secure woman I have yet to know,

It’s actually a blessing that you’ve discarded me.

Travelling far far away,

Will certainly set me free,

Knowing,

You can’t come back to ruin me.

Dearest Mother

You’re right,

You’ve always been right,

I don’t know why I chose to believe,

There might be a possibility that you could be wrong.

You were right,

About every man I’ve ever dated,

Except for one,

The one who’s stood by me for oh so long.

You were right,

About the economy,

How hard it would be,

Silly me for not listening.

You were right,

About university,

Thank you for pushing me,

To a higher degree.

You were right,

About my anger,

My insecurities,

How ignorant of me.

You were right,

About my being lazy,

Something,

I refused to see.

You were right,

About travelling,

It’s been more,

Than good for me.

I’ve always thought you were a pessimist,

Discovering now you’ve always been a realist,

It’s my fault for not listening,

For letting him take advantage of me.

You’ve been right all along,

I truly hope I’ll continue to believe,

That you’ve always been right,

About what’s good for me.